Some aspects resulting to poor performance of the employed women in their families

In Kenya 9.89 million women are employed compared to the number of employed men which is 9.79 million. I stand to be corrected but that shows how women seriously take financial stability. I started my career journey as a casual worker, Working three only days a week then before being absorbed as permanent staff. Not necessarily I had bills to pay but I wanted to relieve my guardian the burden of taking care of me. For me, there is nothing more satisfying and encouraging than being able to help those who take care of you any way you can.

I have worked ever since my first paying job in 2015 but unfortunately got laid off in April 2019 while on maternity leave. Having gotten used to taking care of myself and doing things on my own and now suddenly without a stable source of income was very difficult. The sudden transition to being jobless and with a newborn was a rough road for months. I was having trouble with the house-help I had at the time and when my son was two months old, she left. I was always stressed and in a low mood all the time and was slowly sinking into post-partum depression.  During the day I would be with my son in the house while my hubby went to work. I remember always breaking down out of nowhere and crying uncontrollably when my son was asleep or just randomly when doing house chores. Losing a source of income and being a first-time mother felt like a lot to deal with, coming from a life of always being the one who took care of myself and ensured everything was in order. Looking back at that period of my life, I always feel like losing that job was not worth what I put myself through.

Months later, one of my friends who had been my senior at work was pregnant with her second child. She was not happy with how her situation was being handled and she also had to quit. A different friend of mine was also denied leave to prepare for her wedding and time for her honeymoon. She went for one or two days and when Covid-19 was declared a padermic she was the first one to get laid off. Thinking about this just makes me sick. Working for almost ten years only to get laid off with absolutely no opportunity or strategy to plan out for your exit. Sometimes you have to say enough is enough. Giving up a job at such a workplace means you care more about your mental health and your future.

Most are the times women are put between a rock and hard place. We need money to take care of our families and our jobs are taking the life out of us. Most of us give our work 101% everyday yet without a leave or sick leaves and also working on public holidays with nothing to show for it. The labor laws clearly states that the weekends and holidays are optional for employees but if it calls for them to work those days they should be paid 200%, but most employers ignore this law. There is a reason why that is in the labor laws. Many overlook that and go mute about it to avoid getting fired and end up crushing on the inside.

Relationships and dating in general can be complicated for woman in unfair working environments. For instance, if you work in the service industry, you may have an off day just once a week. That off-day may be a weekday when most people are at work. If you are dating someone who has a normal 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. job you find that when you are off work, they are at work and when they are not working you are. If you are lucky enough, you and your partner will find time in the evening to maybe go out for a cup of coffee or generally try to make time. But it takes mature people to understand that. Online dating and communications on the other hand has become the easiest option of building relationships and have proven good results in marriages but it also requires very mature people to do it. I guess what am trying to say is online dating and communications are not for everybody. For me, identifying the person with a wrong motive from the right one with this age of ‘cat-fishing’ online needs a third inner eye.

Also, this has encouraged infidelity in our society, everyone is so busy with work to make time for their partners. Women trying to balance family, work, and side hustles because the salaries cannot cater for all the bills. This inability to strengthen our relationship by spending quality time has contributed to broken families, domestic violence or even murder and suicide. Currently we are experiencing a large number of suicide and murder cases in Kenya. I feel it’s important to help your employees to live a better life, with favorable work schedules that allow them to take time off to build other areas of their life. Families are very important. If you are not married you have your parent(s) and sibling(s) to spend time with, and if you are a parent you need to spend time with you partner and kid(s) and work on being the best parent you can.

 As employees it is our role to know where to draw a line between our work and life outside work. When you look for a job, prove you can do that job better than anyone else but also do not forget you have a family and a future outside work. Leave a job interview room knowing not only your salary but how your work schedule is in respect to your personal life and the company culture must fit you in general. Kenya again has a high number of unemployment rates, especially among the youth. The only thing I can say is just play your cards well. As much as you don’t want to lose your job, or want a job badly, don’t lose yourself to work, and most importantly don’t lose your friends and family because you can be replaced at work but you can’t replace the people you love the most and time lost. Run your marathon wisely. You do not want to lose it running blindly.

The tricks you need to know being a new mom

Being a first-time mom is the most beautiful thing anyone can dream of. The excitement that comes with creating a human being like you is immensely overwhelming.  There are those who do not get it smooth during the pregnancy and those who enjoy the journey with no complications like the morning sickness and the like. personally, I do not know what morning sickness feels like, but let’s leave the pregnancy part for now. After delivery it’s now time to take care of your baby. Any mode of deliver natural birth or c section is never a joke, you will have yourself to take care of also at the end it. The c section can be a little bit complex for a new mom, in addition, one cannot immediately go back to the normal as it has to be a slow process.

Bringing up a newborn as a first-time mom is the tricky part requiring one to; obviously feed, bath, soothe and coordinate its naps not forgetting some sleepless nights looking after it and so on. Some babies will sleep during the day and be up all night long. Adapting to the newly introduced schedule is not a walk in the park, it alters with everything in your mind and at some point, if not careful you may lose your mind. This is where most mom get postpartum depression. Postpartum depression is brought about by changes of having a baby. If you have someone around to give a hand on you and your baby, then consider yourself a lucky because some of us out here do not have that privilege. Having partners with crazy careers in life and having yourself to take care of the baby and your own self can be difficult. It takes more than a strong woman to come out of such a situation without depression. The moment a child is born, the mother is also born as well. I mean the woman existed, but the mother never was, and therefore a mother is absolutely something new.

My advice to new mothers is that you should; come in with courage, having a baby is almost same as having a bungee jumping where you trust God through the rope tacked round your legs. Then try to have someone around your new life, rest enough, take life one step at a time ,do not judge yourself for anything, talk to someone if you feel the need and talk to your doctor in case of signs of postpartum depression. Most importantly do not ignoring situations like sickness however minor. If you feel your baby is not as usual, prioritize consulting a pediatrician, at the end you will learn and also laugh at some things you overreacted over.

After all, how do we create memories if not through ups and downs? If you are a mom out there encourage a mom to be and the new mom.

“Impossible is just an opinion” (Paulo Coelho)

Emotional Feelings Surrounding covid 19 virus

I really never wanted to get deep into the Coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic issue. Talking about it makes me realize how much it is affecting everything around me. There is so much fear, anxiety and panic resulting from the pandemic. Some couples spending long periods of time together at home as a result of the quarantine measures is leading to damaged relationships, there has been a case of deaths for instance after a woman accused of exhibiting coronavirus symptoms by her family committed suicide from the stigma the disease causes among many other negative effects the disease has brought about. For the first time in a long time we are having a common problem affecting all of us. The virus does not choose who to affect depending on skin color, age, race or social status. It does not discriminate on how light skin or dark skin you are, how poor or rich you are or even how healthy or sick you are. I will be going through how its affecting our day to day life and how to stay safe and survive the pademic.

If you are a parent you have soo much work to do. Personally I have a 1 year old son and a 10 year old niece. My son who is teething always has his fingers in his mouth rubbing his gum. They also loves playing outside. It is really hard to teach them to not do all these things because I cannot trust any surface to be as clean as I would like, so someone has to always keep an eye on him.

My work does not give me the luxury of working from home so I am still going to work. The number of clients for the business have greatly reduced and we are trying to attend to the few that are coming in. I can only stop going to work if the worst comes to worst and there is a lockdown. I happen to interact with lot of people through out the day, so I have measures in place on arriving home to avoid carrying any possibility of the virus into my home. On getting home from work I rush to the bathroom, soak all my clothes and take a shower.

Another big thing for me is limiting visitors into the house. Assume everyone including you, is infected. You don’t know where people are coming from or who they have interacted with. The virus does not show any symptoms immediately, so you may welcome to your home someone who does not show symptoms and end up affecting the whole family or affecting the visitor on the other hand. The fear of not knowing if you have the virus or a normal flu during these times is also a reality. I had recently developed irritations on my throat since the first case of the virus was announced in Kenya and I really freaked out. I had to go the hospital for tests twice. Above everything, lets focus on being calm and take the neccesary measures. Have all the information on; how the virus spreads, it’s sysmptoms and how to avoid catching it. Rely on trusted sources for the information like the World HeaLth Organization (WHO). If you have anxiety issues you can watch less news but stay informed. Just know what is important for now to be safe.

Guys travelling to the rural areas now also risk taking the virus there. Lets remember, this is where we have our parents and grand parents who are older and probably have health issues. The virus is taking down the older polulations in greater percentages than the young population. Its gets worse if you have pre-existing health conditions. The best we can do is stay at our homes and avoid unnecessary momement.

I totally empathize with those of us going through a stressful time, probably from being forced to cancel important events, sick people who had to travel outside the country for treatment and they cannot with all the restrictions and the list goes on. If you are going through this take time and relax, since this is an issue we cannot control. Look for solutions to get you back to normal life and keep a positive outlook of hope. Listen to what you love, smell what you love or even take time to see what you love. Talk to people you trust.

Talk to people you trust because a problem shared is a problem half solved. We are all in this together.

The pandemic has hit the world hard, the economy is going down, businesses are not as vibrant and employers maybe forced to layoff their employees or force them into unpaid leave since some business cannot sustain themselves. Those who are sent home for leave or worse still layed off have families to feed and bills to pay. With such a situation you will find increased mental health cases. Lets handle the situation calmly and also check on one another.
Our confirmed cases are rising in Kenya everyday, the Health Cabinet Secretary Mutahi Kagwe has made it clear that the cases touch every corner of our capital city, Nairobi. Basically if you are in Nairobi, you sholud be more careful. Store enough food for your quarantine, use this time for self care and connect with yourself in all ways. If you have a balcony or a backyard you can grow greens, tomatoes, onions, name them.we can get all solutions to survive.


A Coat of many colours

I’m kobia Eva (cokobia) I’m a mother, wife to be and an employee, plus I also have my side hustles. I will be sharing my journey on being on all sides of the world and balancing them not to lose any, because they are all important to me and make my life meaningful. Through my blog I will be speaking to all women, remember one doesn’t have to be a mother or married to be a woman. I want every woman to get strength to maneuver in life, it doesn’t have to be work, family or parenthood related.

I will start with being an employee, I won’t lie I spend most of my time at work than with my immediate family and sometimes no time with parents, siblings and friends. As you all know catching up with the people you love is important because, you get to refule on diffrent issues affecting you directly or indirectly. Some women have the most time-consuming careers, leave alone mine that I get home at the end of the day. We have police offices, pilots, engineers name them,Its difficult to balance life with our careers on our shoulders. But anyway what do we do! But tighten our little bearly seen inner muscles and make everything work to our benefit.

A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nature and transform.” – Diane Mariechild

I work from Monday to Saturday from morning till late (in the evening) After work I may go out with my boy friend/Hubby or if he is busy I go home straight to my son to put him to bed.These are the only time am with either or both of them.This is where we come to partners who should understand our work.(Topic for another day).Especially for working women with careers that are time- consuming. So Sunday is my best day, I get to spend time with them. We can go to church we can catch a movie together after . I love it, but its short-lived since Monday is always somewhere staring at me.

Here are some of the reasons we need to work.

You earn,you learn, you become independent, you connect with right people, you improve your knowledge and life in a marvelous way, you view changes,your self esteem increases and can stand for yourself, you help your family where need be, you learn life skills, you improve, you make better decisions, you inspire others who will want to have muscles like you, personally I look onto stronger ladies like Gabriel union, Michelle Obama and lets not go far Julie Gichuru and Janet mbugua and finally the last reason why you need to work is, you can shop. I love the fact that I can be alittle bit extravagant without stressing on where the money will come from.So ladies lets WORK!

Are you an iron woman, or a woman looking for inspiration from other women? share your stories, ask questions and let’s all learn and grow together

Sometimes all it takes is a little hand reaching for yours, to remind you.. That these are without a doubt the best years of your life.

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